


wild as the wind blows

by weatheredlaw



Series: look again in your heart [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Established Relationship, F/M, Morning Sickness, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-16 12:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4624908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weatheredlaw/pseuds/weatheredlaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cassandra's doing things all out of order, but Varric doesn't seem to mind. That's what happens when you're in love with a queen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. well, shit (cassandra style)

**Author's Note:**

> I FINISHED ONE AND STARTED A SEQUEL ON THE SAME DAY IS IT MAGIC OR MADNESS NO
> 
> it's just me hi

_Touch me I'm cold, unable to control_  
_Touch me I'm golden and wild as the wind blows_

* * *

It was the third day of bitter, angry negotiations with yet another noble family with claims to the throne. Cassandra had long since resigned herself to the fact that Ellana and Anthony were more adept at handling these sorts of things than she truly cared to be, and leaned back in her chair, letting her mind wander. The negotiations themselves were trivial, for show, mostly, and the lord would be placated with gold and land and he would leave them well enough alone. It was tedious work, none of the glamour she had been promised accompanied the royal life when she was a girl. 

Her mind wandered to Kirkwall, where she knew Varric was preparing for his trip to Nevarra, his third in sixth months. The letters had never been quite enough, and when they began arriving from him after longer and longer periods of time, she wondered if, perhaps, she had been misplaced to give her heart so quickly to a man she hardly knew.

And then he arrived at the castle, no warning, and stayed for six weeks. It had been blissful, it had been excruciatingly _painful_ to have him leave her again, but he promised to come back, and he did. He had kept every promise he'd made to her so far, and she had no reason to think he wouldn't continue for as many years as they could manage. The thought of the future always gave her pause, though. That had always been Anthony's forte -- he could picture disaster and ruin and stagnation for decades to come, but Cassandra found it difficult at times to see so far. She had plans and ideas, of course, but they were foggy, since she had become queen. Fate conspired to give her an uncertain future, but with Varric, she could see things more clearly. 

She knew he loved her, and that he would. She knew she needed him, and would always. That much was certain. The rest of it was not. 

As the meeting began to wrap up, Cassandra said a few words to the lord that seemed to please him, but she wasn't feeling as well as she had when the negotiations had started. She watched the guards escort the man from the room, and turned to Ellana. "I must retire."

"M'lady, are you unwell?"

"No, I--" She froze, feeling the meager breakfast she'd forced down begin to come back, and turned quickly from her advisor. 

"Sister--"

"I'll escort her majesty to her quarters," Ellana said quickly. She took Cassandra's arm and whispered. "Straight up, don't let them see you like this."

Cassandra, probably as green as she felt, nodded, and let the elf lead her back to her quarters where, behind the safety of a locked and closed door, she heaved her sickness into a vase Ellana shoved into her hands. The leaves pushed against her nose, doing nothing for her uneasy stomach, and she was sick again and again until finally there was nothing left. Ellana took the vase and replaced it with a goblet of water. "Thank you."

"Lie down. It's been a very long day. I'll get a healer in to you look at you."

"No, I...don't think that will be necessary."

"Your majesty--"

"Ellana." Cassandra stood up straighter. "I am fine. Please make sure the details of the negotiation aren't lost to my brothers terrible scrawl. I'll rest and call for you within the hour."

Ellana was understandably unconvinced, but a queen's orders were final. She gave a quick bow and turned to leave.

Once the doors had shut behind her, Cassandra grabbed the vase again, and allowed herself the pleasurable misery of true, honest, sickness. 

 

 

 

Ellana defied orders that night when Cassandra did not return for her, and long after she'd refused her dinner. She opened the door and came in, alone, reaching out for her queen. "M'lady."

"Ellana--"

"You are unwell. Please, let the healer see you."

"That isn't necessary--"

"Perhaps not to you. But your brother is worried."

Of course Anthony was worried, and of course he'd send his lover in to chastise her for doing it to him. But Ellana's tone was soft, the sweet lilting tone of her voice prying Cassandra from her discomfort, and she finally stretched out and took the girl's hand. "Yes," she said. "Alright."

Nodding, Ellana went to the door and gestured for the healer to enter. She kneeled and stood, lighting a few more lamps while Ellana trailed behind her. "Can't have our queen feeling sick now, can we?" The healer was a soft woman, a dwarf, and she smiled, reaching out to take Cassandra's hand. "No magic needed today, your majesty. Just a few herbs for a queasy stomach. Tell me though, when did you last bleed?"

Cassandra balked. "I'm sorry?"

"You're not a young woman, your majesty. Let's be honest with one another." The dwarf began mixing something together, crunching herbs and taking a few drops of some sort of extract. She mixed it into a cup and handed it over. "That should keep you well for a while. I'll make another in the morning. But you still didn't answer."

Cassandra took a sip of the brew, feeling almost instant relief. She moaned, realizing now she had a terrible headache, and pressed the heel of her palm to one of her eyes. "I...am not sure."

"You think on it for a moment. I'll get you some water." The healer went out of the room, and Cassandra waved to Ellana.

"M'lady--"

"I cannot remember. I...with everything that has happened, with all the negotiations, I--" She frowned. "Two months," she said. "It has been two months."

Ellana breathed. "Creators..."

"Here you are, your majesty." The dwarf brought back and cup of water and Cassandra drank half of it down. "Did you recall?"

"I...yes. It has been...two months." 

"I see." The dwarf looked through her bag and brought something else out. "Chew these leaves. They'll help with your headache. I'll call for a more advanced healer in the morning. Keep her in bed. She isn't to move until we get to the bottom of this, understand?"

Cassandra's temper flared. "I am the _queen--_ "

"Yes," the dwarf said. "And so we must have you at your best, mustn't we?" She kneeled again before taking her things. "I'll return in the morning with another healer. Sleep well, your majesty." The dwarf shut the door behind her. In the silence of her wake, Cassandra felt herself begin to tremble.

"How--"

"You know how, m'lady."

"That is not possible."

Ellana shrugged. "It would appear to be."

Cassandra reached for her. "Do not tell Anthony."

"I wouldn't, m'lady." Ellana squeezed the queen's hand and put it over her heart. "Your secret is safe here, with me."

 

 

 

In the morning, Cassandra awoke to the smell of brewing herbs. Ellana had made the package the dwarf healer had left them, and was pouring it into a goblet. She smiled when Cassandra sat up, handing over the concoction. "Thank you."

"Another healer is on their way. We'll know for sure."

"I already know," Cassandra snapped. How could she not? How could her own body become suddenly such a mystery to her. The fact that she was pregnant should have been obvious, but she had been so anxious, and she had missed times before that in her life had gone months without bleeding, and even longer still without a man to cause it. Now, her lover a dwarf, she was suddenly face with what she had assumed was an impossibility.

She did hate being wrong, sometimes.

The healer was a tall, severe looking woman. She glanced at Cassandra, worried for a moment, before she smiled, the tension on her face melting away. "Your majesty." She knelt and rose, setting a bag on the bedside table. "Are you feeling better?"

"Much."

"Mina's work is good," she said, glancing at the dwarf. "Let's see if we can't find out what troubles you."

Cassandra bit her lip. Too many people were here to know her secret. If it was indeed true, if she was with child...Maker, there would be work to do. Anthony would be furious. My sister, he'd say. Doing it all out of order. Cassandra leaned back against her pillows and let the healers do their work. A rune was placed on her belly, a drop of her blood taken and mixed in a vial. For an hour or more they worked, murmuring to one another about things Cassandra didn't understand, or couldn't hear. There was a ringing in her ears, and she was anxious to have answers.

She needed to tell Varric.

"Your majesty." The taller woman took the rune from Cassandra's belly. "You are with child," she said quietly. Her expression was pained, expecting the worst from her queen. But Cassandra sat up, and offered her a smile.

"I know more now than I did before. Thank you..."

"Gretchen," the woman said.

"Thank you, Gretchen. I will ask for you again soon, I am sure." Cassandra spared a glance down to her stomach, silent and smooth now. She remembered an aunt of hers from childhood, who had been pregnant with triplets. Gretchen nodded, taking her things and kneeling with Mina before leaving. Ellana closed the door after them. "It is true, then."

"They're quite sure of it," Ellana said.

"I'm sure they are. I am as well." She put a hand on the flat expanse of her belly. "What will we do now?" she murmured. She felt Ellana come sit next to her, reaching out to take her hand. "Anthony will be livid."

"He will get over it, in time." Ellana smiled. "Master Tethras will be here soon."

"He will."

"There will be much to discuss. Arrangements will have to be made."

Cassandra frowned. "Arrangements."

"For the baby. For your future. Whatever you wish to do, we will have to do it quickly. You're nearly two months pregnant, m'lady. It will pass you by too quickly."

Cassandra nodded. "Of course."

"But...you need time to think."

"I do."

"I'll leave you then, m'lady." 

"Do not tell Anthony. Not yet."

Ellana smiled. She hesitated for a moment, then she leaned forward, pressing her lips to Cassandra's temple. The motion surprised her, but she was pleased. "Of course, your majesty. It remains, for now, our secret." She dipped her head and left Cassandra alone. The smell of herbs still lingered, as she rose to walk onto her balcony. It was midday. She should have been with Anthony, but she needed time alone. Time to think, time to wonder what she would do. She rubbed circles along her abdomen, contemplating the thing. 

How would she tell Varric? They had not known one another a year yet, but still. _Still._ He was the man she loved, would always love. And he was now the father of their child. A future king or queen of Nevarra. The idea made her stomach turn, suddenly, and she rushed back to drink her strange tea, calming the nausea. 

_Andraste preserve me,_ she thought. _Let him love me still._


	2. super awkward "i missed you" gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you should love anthony, he's just trying to be a good bro.  
> this chapter was fun to write! i love getting into cassandra's headspace, and this is so fun  
> LA LA LA
> 
> we're having fun, guys, really

_And tumbling, tumbling, don't go fascination_  
_If just for tonight, darling_  
_Let's get lost_

* * *

It took two more weeks still for Varric to reach Nevarra. Cassandra had been unsure whether he would travel alone, and sure enough, when she met him at the gates that morning, he was with a spindly woman, her mess of black hair whipping fiercely in the wind that had picked up. As the two approached, Cassandra could hear their laughter, the quick way they joked with one another, and she knew instantly who the woman was.

"Lady Hawke," she said. "It is an honor to finally meet you."

"Oh, _Varric._ " Hawke slid down the side of her horse, passing the mount to a stable hand who came by. "She's more beautiful than you said. Certainly too beautiful for you."

"Very funny." Varric passed off his pack to a servant and came closer. "Yeah, she is more beautiful than I remember. It's been a long couple of months." He reached up to cup her cheek, but their touches remained chaste in front of the castle. "How's it going, Seeker?"

"Well." She abandoned propriety for a moment -- Anthony could scold her later, she didn't care -- and slipped his hand into hers. "Ellana would like to meet with you about something, and we'll have dinner tonight."

"Great. I've got something for you." Next to him, Hawke muttered something and he elbowed her sharply in the ribs. "You said you'd behave if I brought you."

" _Yes!_ Except you didn't bring me, I followed you for thirteen hours and talked you into it." Hawke smiled brightly. "Is there somewhere I can put down my things? I need to send a letter so Fenris doesn't worry." A servant came and took her bag. "Oh, well then."

"Mara will help you with anything you need during your visit," Cassandra said. "Take Lady Hawke to the room closest to the library, and help her get a message delivered." The servant nodded and Hawke gave a friendly wave before making an obscene gesture in Varric's direction. He rolled his eyes. "I didn't know she would be coming."

"It was a surprise. I'm so sorry--"

"Not a terrible surprise," Cassandra said. "There is something important I must discuss with you, but we'll do it at dinner. I need...to rest, I think." She had only stopped being sick a few days before, but her stomach still turned and she craved the strangest things. The healer said she wouldn't have any obvious signs for another month, but Cassandra felt like her body was betraying her secret to everyone that passed. 

"Are you alright? _Cassandra._ " Varric squeezed her hand. "Hey--"

"Yes, I'm...sorry. It's been a long week."

"It's Tuesday."

"Is it? It feels later than that."

"No. Definitely Tuesday."

Cassandra gave him a weak smile. "Of course. I'll just...they'll bring you to the smaller dining hall at dinner." Varric's expression turned down, his eyes wondering. She wanted to say it to him, let it spill out in one desperate sentence -- 

But not yet. Not now. She needed to rest. She needed water and tea and sleep. Then she would feel better. That would fix everything.

 

 

 

When there was a knock on her bedroom door before dinner, she wondered if Varric had decided to forego the servants, and dinner all together. She had begun considering the possibility herself -- seeing him always made her want him more, and they had already done the impossible. What would another night together mean, in the end? She opened the door, expecting him, and bumped right into her brother instead.

"Anthony--"

"How long were you going to keep this from me?" he asked quietly, moving past her into the room.

"I--"

"Your healer friend told me this morning. I wondered why they were frequenting your rooms. I seem to have spooked her, she was rather terrified afterward." Cassandra remembered -- Mina's hands had been unsteady, she'd dropped the first tea cup she tried to fill. Furious, Cassandra turned around to face her brother.

"You are hardly my keeper, my secrets are mine to do with as I wish."

"I am not your keeper, but I do tend to have a vested, personal interest in your _well being_ , Cassandra. You're my sister, and my queen. If you are not well--"

"I am not _sick_ , Anthony. I am _pregnant._ " 

Anthony froze in his spot, looking at her for a long moment before he nodded and said quietly, "Master Tethras. I thought you were expected in the dining room."

Cassandra turned and found him standing there, eyebrow raised, looking between the two. " _Varric--_ "

"We are not done yet, sister." Anthony moved past her. "We have much to discuss once the two of you are finished." He closed the double doors to Cassandra's room behind him, and the snap that echoed carried everything unsaid. 

For a moment, the silence was suffocating.

"Is this the important thing we needed to talk about?" Varric asked. He hadn't moved from his spot by the door, and he leaned against it, looking out one of the windows. 

"Yes."

"How long have you known?"

"Two weeks. You were travelling, I didn't know how--"

"I'm not _mad_ , Seeker." 

Oh, Maker, she loved when he called her that. 

"You're not."

"Confused. I didn't think it was possible." He smiled and moved closer. "We seem to be quite adept at defying reason and logic, don't we?"

"We do." Cassandra sat on the edge of her bed, and Varric came to stand in front of her, taking up the space between her knees. He reached out and cupped her face, kissing her forehead, her brow, her cheeks. "I have missed you," Cassandra murmured, reaching up to take his hand in hers. "So much."

"How many months until..." He reached down and put his hand on her belly.

"Almost six."

"That's not a whole lot of time left to make some pretty important decisions."

Cassandra closed her eyes. "I do not want to make important decisions tonight."

"No?"

She shook her head. "I only want you. Is it too much to ask?"

Varric smiled, tipping his head to kiss her properly. Cassandra wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him closer.

"No," he murmured. "Not at all."

 

 

 

In the morning, Cassandra woke to find Varric dressed and standing on the balcony, sending off a letter of his own. She sat up, waiting for him to return to her, reaching over to find a tray of tea by her bedside. "Did you do this?" she asked. He shut the door to the balcony behind him. "Thank you."

"A nice woman named Mina brought it. She seemed to know who I was."

Cassandra flushed. "She is one of the healers caring for me. I have...told them things I did not mean to."

"It's alright," he said, crawling back into bed. "I don't mind." He kissed her temple and stretched out. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. It's been...difficult."

"Is that what it's like? Carrying an entire other person inside of you? _Difficult?_ You're steel, Cassandra. You'll probably call childbirth _trying._ " 

She rolled her eyes. "I have heard it is most difficult for men."

"We lack your feminine fortitude." He sat up and reached over to pour himself a cup of tea. "Anthony is angry, I take it?"

"He didn't know. He should have known, but I'll be angry with Mina for it later. My brother can be...overwhelming, at times."

"Ellana seems to be doing well enough." He paused. "Shit, I need to meet with her, don't I?"

"She would like to. Meet her for lunch."

"Alright." He spooned sugar into the cup. "What are your plans?"

"I have three lords to meet with this morning. They're having a land dispute and if they do not stop their incessant nagging, they'll start a war."

"They've got soldiers?"

"No," she said. "I do. And I will end it myself if they do not _shut up._ "

Varric froze, and suddenly began to laugh so hard his hands shook, spilling tea on the blankets until Cassandra pried it from his fingers and moved to get dressed.

 

 

 

It was late when she finished overseeing the land dispute, but true to her word she'd solved it. Anthony had been quiet for most of the proceedings, and he continued his silence as he walked her back to her room, glancing over at her every now and again. Eventually, they paused outside her door and he took her hand. "You know what must be done, don't you?"

"I am having this child."

"Maker, Cassandra, that isn't what I _meant._ Of course you're having the baby. Out of wedlock or not, that child is an _heir_ , one of the first natural ones in decades." He ran a hand through his hair. "Cassandra, you must marry."

"Varric will not--"

"It does not _have_ to be Varric," Anthony said. "There are plenty of good men in this country who would marry you, in spite of half-dwarven offspring. Their discretion can be bought, it is not--"

Oh, she had never slapped her brother, and Maker forgive her for doing it now.

"In _spite_ of the child, I will marry _no one._ " 

"Don't be a fool, sister."

"I am tired of hearing that from you, while you succeed time and time again to be a greater fool than either of us. If Varric will have me, I will marry him. And if he will not, I will raise this child as _mine_ , without a single gutless man to help me." She reached for the doorknob, closing her eyes. "I should not have slapped you."

"It's alright, Cassandra."

"It is not, but I don't regret it." She looked at him again. "I know you want what's best. You always have."

"And I always will." He reached out to cup her cheek. "Good night, little sister."

"Good night." Cassandra watched him go before opening the doors to her room. Varric was still away, but he'd be back within the hour. She cleaned herself and brushed out the strand of her hair before pinning it out of the way for bed. He came back after midnight, smelling of woodsmoke and memories, and pressed a sloppy kiss on her temple. 

"The people in this castle know how to play cards."

"Is that what you've been doing?"

"I met with a very wealthy man who owes money to the merchant's guild. Made some coin, made some friends." He began to unbutton his tunic. "How long did your meeting last?"

"Into the night. It was terrible. But no one will die, I suppose. Unless their prides are mortally wounded. She rose from the chair at her vanity and crossed the room to her bed. "I fought with Anthony."

"That...doesn't sound fun."

"He sometimes forgets that what he wants and what I want are very different things. For a long time, they were not. This life changes you." She felt Varric come and wrap his hands around her waist. She reached to stroke her fingers through his hair. "He would like for me to get married." 

Varric froze. "Does he."

"Yes. To you, to someone."

"I suppose that's...proper."

"It's customary. The scandal of having a child out of wedlock would pass, but there would be problems in the future."

"You're pregnant with a future queen."

"Or king, yes."

Varric pulled back, scrubbing a hand over his face. " _Shit._ " 

"Is there a problem?"

"Hmm? Oh, no, it's not really all that problematic. Just, uh, realizing what I've sort of gotten myself into here."

Cassandra stiffened. "If it displeases you--"

" _Displeases_ me. Cassandra, the only thing displeasing about any of this is the idea of you marrying _someone else._ This is our child, they're _our_ future. If you think for a second I won't marry you to insure they have the best one, then you're wrong."

She worked her mouth, trying to understand. "I...you couldn't. It isn't...you could never live this life."

"What, the life of a married man who has a wife and child he loves?"

" _No_ , Varric. The life of a prince consort who has a queen for a wife and the heir to the throne for a child."

He huffed. "You're not your _title_ , Cassandra. You're a woman, still, you told me that yourself."

"It is different, Varric, when there are children involved."

He folded his arms over his chest. "What are you saying to me?"

"I'm saying that if you would like to marry me, then I will do that. I would marry you, child or not. But you will be making a very great sacrifice, and I am unsure if I can ask you to do that."

Varric considered her for a moment. He walked away, changed his clothes, and went to wash his face. When he came back, Cassandra had crawled into bed, posture mirroring his own. It felt like they were dueling -- the words were certainly sharp enough. 

Finally, he said, "Will you?"

"Will I _what_ , Varric?"

"Will you marry me, Cassandra?" He had crawled across the bed, settling on his knees in front of her. "I love you. There aren't enough words that I have to describe the things I feel for you. To have a child with you...it surpasses my expectations. I'll marry you and become consort of whatever and whoever, it doesn't matter. As long as I get to see you every morning--" He took her hands and turned them over, kissing her palms. "--and every night."

She trembled. "You may."

"So...you will?"

Cassandra laced their fingers together, nodding and bending to kiss his knuckles. "Yes. I will."


	3. interpersonal relationships 101

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i set a little chapter limit for myself. i want to wrap this up in the next couple installments because the resolution is pretty simple. excited for it though! i've tested in on focus groups (vehlr and orillia so not a group but whatever) and it's pretty popular if i must say.
> 
> 4 out of 5 dentists approve.
> 
> ENJOY

_Let me come closer, I'm not your shadow_  
_With our eyes shielding from the oncoming counts_

* * *

Cassandra did not have much time to enjoy her own engagement, and neither did Varric. He and Hawke seemed to have business nearly every day, while Cassandra still had dozens of land contracts to sort through. She wondered if the Inquisition's ambassador would be willing to loan them her skills, but thought better of it. It would hardly do to outsource her negotiations. No matter what, Cassandra's ultimate goal was to maintain the dignity and honor of the Pentaghast name on the throne.

So it did not surprise her that Anthony worried about news of her pregnancy spreading.

"We've sworn the healers to secrecy. Master Tethras is a private man, he won't talk." They walked together down the hall, one afternoon, sharing notes and passing contracts back and forth. "There is...something else I needed to speak with you about."

"Oh?" Cassandra paused in front of her room. 

"It is...about Ellana." Anthony's cheeks grew red. He didn't discuss his relationship with Cassandra, had hardly said anything about it since they had returned from Skyhold. Ellana was considerably private about it herself, and only offered information up when Cassandra had the nerve to pry. But she allowed her brother his own affairs, just as he allowed hers. "She knew about the child."

"Ellana is a trusted advisor."

"She is also the woman I love." Anthony's tone was sharp. "How could you _ask her_ to...to _keep_ this from me--"

"Anthony--"

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be angry, I shouldn't." He looked past her and murmured, "I _shouldn't._ "

"I'm sorry for asking her to keep secrets from you. It was not my intention to cause trouble."

"It's hardly ever your _intention_ , sister." Anthony shook his head. "It doesn't matter. What _does_ matter is when you've decided to have the wedding. It will need to be soon, the baby--"

"I cannot make this decision without Varric."

Her brother sighed. "Yes, of course." He seemed to have more to say, but Cassandra was opening to door and it was getting late. "Let Ellana know what you've decided." He ducked his head and disappeared down the hall.

Alone, Cassandra allowed herself to feel the aches she'd been hiding all day. Her feet were swollen and sore, and she was starting to feel the uncomfortable weight in her belly of another person. She wanted food all the time, and had begun losing her temper quicker than usual. And she was already rather short to begin with. She changed out of her clothes, standing exposed in front of the mirror in her room. 

Just there, noticeable only to herself, she could see the growing swell of her child. 

"Oh." Cassandra turned and Varric was standing there, a small thing wrapped in paper in his hands, the door shut and locked behind him. "Well, this is a nice surprise." He shrugged off his duster. "Are you alright?"

"I am angry with myself."

"Tell me about it."

"I feel like I am losing control. I crave _oysters_ constantly. I will be obvious at our wedding."

Varric nodded. "Is this your way of telling me we have to do this right _now?_ "

"Well...no. But Anthony--"

"I met with Ellana today. She said not to listen to anything Anthony says."

"Perhaps _you_ have that luxury, but I do not." She sighed, pulling a soft tunic over her head.

"Don't get dressed on my account, Seeker."

She smiled and turned to him. "You've been busy today."

"Yeah, Hawke's settling up some debts for some friends. It's amazing the amount of money people suddenly seem to have when the Champion of Kirkwall comes knocking." He had changed and came to sit with her in bed. "I brought you something. Meant to give it to you when I got here, but--" Varric handed her the package. "For you, your highness."

"Is this--" She ripped off the paper, tossing it to the floor. "You are terrible."

" _Swords and Shields_ is a bestseller now. It has the queen of Nevarra's approval."

"You did not _tell--_ "

"Cassandra." He leaned over to kiss her. "I'm _joking._ It doesn't sell and I haven't written one for the public in years. They're for you now." He reached over to pick up his own book from the bedside table, looking for his reading glasses. "Is it alright?"

"I'm...sure it is." She set it aside and look at him. "I have missed you."

"Have you?"

"Yes." She plucked the book from his fingers. "Pay attention to me."

Varric sighed, taking off his glasses and watching her straddle his waist. "I love it when you order me around."

"You're about to become my husband. I should hope you do."

 

 

 

Ellana came to Cassandra's study the next morning, her arms heavy with papers to be signed. She groaned as she set them down, brushing the hair from her face. "This is messy."

"Everything is messy."

"Are you well today?"

Cassandra smiled. "Very, thank you for asking." She looked at her advisor. "Are _you_ well, my dear?"

"Hmm? Oh, I suppose. It's been..." She sighed. "Anthony is very cross with me about the baby."

"He'll recover."

"I'm sure." She sat in the chair across from Cassandra. "I spoke with Varric the other day. He's...excited, I think."

"You think?"

"Well, it'll be a big change for him. Agreeing to live her with you, giving up his status and place in Kirkwall. Varric Tethras has _power_ , your majesty. He can move mountains and acquire funds at the drop of a hat. He's respected in every country, has held court with the king of Ferelden and the empress. He's a trusted friend to the Champion and the Inquisitor--"

"What are you saying?" Cassandra asked quickly. 

"I'm saying that Varric is making an incredible sacrifice. He will give up status and influence to be with you. I only wonder if it's the right choice."

Cassandra considered her for a moment. Ellana's face was open, honest. She truly wondered, desired to know, if Varric's decision had been a good one. Cassandra hadn't thought to contradict him for a moment. He told her he would give all that up, though not in so many words. Still. He had asked her to be his wife. Wasn't that, above all else, more important than influence? More important than any connection or ally? 

_Wasn't it?_

"I...you have really thought about this?" Ellana nodded. "Tell me the truth, then. What do you think?"

"Your majesty--"

"Don't steel your tongue now," Cassandra snapped. "Don't be _coy_ about it. You have an opinion, share it."

Ellana nodded. "Of course." She stood and folded her hands behind her back. "I don't think you should marry Varric. I don't think you should marry anyone. Not like this. Not out of necessity."

"I love him."

"I'm aware of that. But it doesn't change the outcome. Everything will still happen that way. And I don't think you will be happy." She choked at the end, and Cassandra realized the girl was crying. "You are the most important...most important person to me. You saved me. I would die before I saw you unhappy." Ellana closed her eyes and put a hand over her mouth. "Please, forgive me."

"My dear--"

"Excuse me, your majesty. I must...I should go." She turned and fled from the room, the door banging shut behind her. Cassandra didn't know what to do. She could hardly sit still after that, but she'd look like a fool chasing down her own advisor. Who could she ask? Who could know Varric's heart better than Varric himself? Better than she did? 

 

 

 

The servant that brought the Champion of Kirkwall to Cassandra's private quarters looked as though he were about to cry. Hawke, for all her flippancy and sarcasm, commanded a certain respect, and she walked with the posture of a woman who had been through war a dozen times over. Cassandra supposed she really had. When the heavy doors closed behind her, Hawke gave a low whistle. "So this is where the magic happens, huh? Varric said it was nice."

Cassandra ignored that and gestured for her to sit. Hawke raised an eyebrow and complied, turning down an offer for tea. "I'm trying to keep my intake of fancy things to a minimum. Saving up for your wedding."

"That was what I wished to discuss with you."

"Is it?" Hawke leaned back. "I can't officiate, I'm not well-liked by the Chantry."

"No, it is not that." Cassandra sat across from her, sipping at her tea. "I wondered...have you spoken much about it with Varric?"

Hawke shrugged. "A little of this, a little of that. He told me it was happening, but he didn't know when. Told me about the pup--" She gestured toward Cassandra's belly. "Told me _he_ asked _you._ Sort of."

"Is that all?"

"Pretty much." Hawke folded her arms over her chest. "Your majesty, if you don't mind my asking, but, is something wrong? Bee in your bonnet?"

"I...no. No, I just...wondered if he had expressed any sort of upset."

"Upset at the prospect of marrying you? I don't think so. He's over the moon in love. It's quite a sight to see, honestly." Hawke smiled. "No, he's dedicated to giving you and your child the best life he can."

Cassandra nodded. "And what about you?"

"Varric's given me everything--"

"No. I mean...what do _you_ think about the wedding."

Hawke's face fell, and she seemed to grow rather pale for a moment, before she straightened up. "It...seems like a nice thing."

"A _nice_ thing."

"Yes, well, I'm not the one doing it, so. It doesn't have much of an impact on me. Except the part where Varric moves into a castle and wears fancy clothes. That'll be a laugh."

"A laugh."

"Well, I didn't mean like...like a _joke._ I just...it'll be rather different for him, you know? He's used to a certain way. He'll have to change things. He'll have to change everything."

"You haven't answered my question."

"Haven't I, though? Perhaps I'll leave you be, just--"

"You will _sit_ ," Cassandra said. And Hawke remained still. "Do you think this is a good idea?"

Hawke worked her jaw for a moment. It seemed as though she were preparing some sort of defense, some kind of quick witted thing to keep Cassandra off her back. But if she had anything, she didn't seem to care for it. She leaned forward, reaching out to toy with the sugar bowl, and said quietly, "No, your majesty. I do not."

Cassandra could have asked why, but she didn't particularly care to repeat the morning's confrontation with Ellana. "Thank you, Lady Hawke. That will be all."

"Of course, your majesty." They stood together and Cassandra opened the door for her. "You know," she said. "For what it's worth, this is just how Varric is. He'll do anything for anyone, and he never thinks of himself. I thought maybe having a baby might change that, but I think it's only made it worse. He _does_ love you. Very much."

Cassandra sighed and nodded. "Yes. I am beginning to think that may be the problem."

 

 

 

Anthony and Cassandra often had breakfast together, usually alone. Varric slept a bit later and wandered in as they were finishing, and Ellana never ate before ten, or so she said. This morning, the air between them was thick, and Cassandra knew her brother had something to say, he was simply preferring to brood. As was his way.

"Anthony--"

"Ellana was crying yesterday. Did you have something to do with this?"

Maker, but her brother in love was a different man sometimes. 

"It was not what you think."

"She was _distraught,_ Cassandra."

"That was not my intention."

"No," he said, setting his cup of tea down with a sharp crack. "It _never_ is. You _never_ intend to hurt or break. You simply _do_ and consider the consequences later."

"I do what _must_ be done--"

"Indeed! And with zero regard for how others might feel--"

"As _if_ you have ever been any better--"

"I am not the king, my decisions do not--"

"Perhaps you _should be_ , then!" Cassandra stood. "I have only ever wanted to do what is right. I never meant to hurt Ellana, and I am sorry for it. Do you think any of this is easy? That I enjoy the decisions that must be made? I am going to take a man from his life, and I will do it because he promises me he is happy. But it _feels_ wrong. All of it feels wrong, it always has. I have never fit this life, I have never succeeded--"

"You are not a failure, sister."

"Perhaps I am, though. Perhaps that is the legacy I leave for my child."

"Never. Never could it be--"

"I am tired," she said. "I will...I must rest." She felt dizzy, and the child inside of her seemed to know. It stirred and a wave of nausea swept over her. 

"This cannot be good for the child."

"Do you _think?_ " Cassandra groaned.

"Let me help you--"

"Leave me alone."

" _Sister._ " Anthony put his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "Let me _help you._ "

Cassandra stared, unblinking. Her brother looked so like their mother, though Cassandra's memory of her had faded. Anthony was all she had, the only family she'd known for so long.

She had defied fate and conspired against it, and now another of their kind grew within her.

"Yes," she whispered. "Yes, alright."

She let her brother help her to her room, and put her to bed. He watched her for a moment, and Cassandra reached out to him and held his hand.

"You have always been good to me."

"You don't make it easy," he murmured.

"Varric says nothing worth having is easy to keep."

"He's very wise." Anthony bent down and kissed her temple. "Rest today, sister. Worry tomorrow."

He backed out of the room, leaving Cassandra alone to surrender to her exhaustion, and finally sleep.


	4. crow, cooked all ways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very sorry for the delay, friends. i got a little stuck, and then a little distracted. mostly by pokemon. please enjoy!

_It's not hard for us to say what we should not_   
_If just for tonight, darling_   
_Let's get lost_

* * *

"Cassandra." Warm hands on the side of her face, slowly drawing her into wakefulness. She stirred, opening one eye. Varric's face blurred in front of her, but she could see his smile. "Morning," he said quietly. She felt his fingers brush the hair from her forehead and he bent down to kiss her temple. "You okay?"

"Mmm." 

"I'll take that as a yes." He laughed and stepped back as she sat up. "There's breakfast on the balcony for you. But I ate half of it waiting for you to get up, so really there's just _some_ breakfast on the balcony." Cassandra raised an eyebrow, pulling her robe around her shoulders. It was early, the sun having barely risen over the mountains, but Cassandra felt wide awake. She settled into a chair across from him outside, observing the half-eaten breakfast scattered on the table. Varric looked sheepish. "Sorry."

"You're fine." She took a piece of toast and buttered it, watching him pour her a cup of tea. "You're awake early."

He shrugged. "I never seem to be able to talk to you in the morning."

"In the evening--"

"You're, uh, rather _distracting._ " He grinned and she rolled her eyes. "But, really, Seeker. We need to talk."

"Yes. I think we do."

"Hawke...told me about your conversation."

Cassandra froze. For some reason she had expected that talk to remain between them, but she realized it was foolish to have expected secrecy from a woman Varric considered his own sister. "It was--"

"Cassandra." He leaned forward. "We're going to be married soon. If you have something to ask me, you need to just _ask._ "

She worried her bottom lip, looking away. Of course. 

"That is...what I worry about." He nodded. "I worry about your happiness."

"My happiness."

"Yes."

He folded his arms over his chest. "You're worried about _my_ happiness, so you talked to, essentially, everyone _but_ me." 

She frowned. "I did not want--"

"No, I know what you did and didn't want to do. But I'm a grown man, Cassandra. I can take this responsibility as seriously as anyone else you'd marry." She opened her mouth to argue, but he raised a hand. "I'm not _angry._ But I love you, and I respect you. I would like you to do the same."

"I...I _do._ I respect you above all others--"

"Then tell me what you're afraid of." He took her hand in his. "Remember? Remember what we used to talk about."

"Speak your fear. Do not let it become you."

"You don't feel well, do you?" She shook her head. "You're anxious, and you're tired." 

"How--"

"I know you, Seeker. I know you because I love you. And I want you to be honest with me. Because I'm being honest with you now." Varric laced their fingers together. "I want to marry you. I want to be your husband. I want to be the father of this child, and maybe another."

"You mean that."

"Every single word."

Cassandra laughed. _Maker_ , she felt like a fool. She'd treated him like a child, assumed she knew his heart better than he. "Maker take us both, I do feel better."

"I'm glad."

Cassandra sighed. "A bath would not hurt either," she said, and stood to call for a servant to bring hot water to the tub in her room. Varric stayed on the balcony as they worked, finishing off her breakfast and wandering back in when the water had been poured. He leaned against the doorframe, watching her undress. "You could help, you know."

"Don't let me get in your way." 

"Varric." Cassandra extended her hand, drawing him closer for a kiss. "You are never in my way."

 

 

 

Feeling better about their collective decision, Cassandra approached Ellana that evening.

"I will not pretend to know anything about planning a wedding," she said quietly, and Ellana laughed.

"My lady, I won't pretend either." She produced a sheet of paper and some ink. "But I have a feeling I know what you'd like." She made a few notes and looked up. "Something small and private, perhaps in your personal Chantry?" Cassandra nodded. "I should think Master Tethras would like to invite select members of the Inquisition. Is there...anyone you'd like to be in attendance, your majesty?" 

Cassandra put a hand on her shoulder. "You are well aware of who I would like to be there." 

Ellana smiled. "You honor me, your majesty."

"And you do far too much." Cassandra sat beside her. "I apologize for upsetting you. And, in turn, my brother."

"He _is_ rather sensitive." Ellana sighed, running a hand through her hair. "There is nothing to forgive, my lady. I promise."

"If you are certain."

"Of course. We should extend the invitations this week, perhaps. And decide on a date. Is two weeks too soon, do you think?"

"It is fine."

"Then you will be married in two weeks, your majesty." Ellana gathered up her notes and stood. "I will manage our meager guest list. It will be as private as I can manage to make it." Cassandra nodded, but could not shake the feeling in her gut that something was...off. "Is...everything alright, my lady?"

"Hmm? Oh, of course, yes. I am just...tired again. I think I will retire." Cassandra put a hand on Ellana's shoulder again. "You are far too good to me."

"Nothing is too good for you, my lady."

 

 

 

In the night, Cassandra dreamed she felled a dragon.

There was no child in her womb, but a sword in her hand. She stood fierce, her armor warm and fitting, keeping her held tight while the beast roared. There was so much life in its belly, the same as in hers, but here, in her dream, she was without ties. She was not in love, she was not a mother or wife to be, she was nothing, but Cassandra, nothing but the dragon slayer she had wanted to be, once upon a time.

Once, a long time ago. 

She woke with a start, sitting up in bed and clutching the sheets. Varric did not stir, and Cassandra searched under the folds of her nightgown for the swell of her child, gasping with relief when she found it. 

"My love," she whispered. "My heart." 

Was it possible to love something so deeply without having met them? Their son or daughter grew inside of her, and she had dreamt they had never existed. Without thinking, she slid from her bed, found her shoes and rushed to the door, opening it silently. Varric still had not moved, and she spared him one last look before leaving him in the dark of her room. 

Her personal chantry was small -- it had been built generations before her, large enough for families to attend services, small enough for it to be as private as she needed it to be. It was dark, attended by no one tonight, and Cassandra lit the candles with shaking hands. She considered praying, but for what? For forgiveness for dreaming of a life without her child? For loving? For trapping Varric in a life she knew he could not want? How long would he have to promise that it would be alright before she believed them?

"Have I failed?" she wondered, settling into a pew. "Have I done something wrong?"

Andraste did not respond. She was only statue, here.

"I have tried to be a good queen. A righteous queen. That is what you wanted from me, was it not? You wanted me to guide my people with grace and humility. You wanted me to be virtuous? Have I disappointed you? Was I the wrong choice?" Cassandra rested her hands over her belly, smiling. "Perhaps I have brought you my heir. Is that what you wanted? Is this your will?" 

More silence.

Cassandra sighed. "If you will not show me the way, then I will make my own," she said. "And I suppose I will live with the consequences, won't I?" She stood. "Forgive me, please. I do not mean to question your plans. I have been queen far too long, I think."

 

 

 

In the days that followed, Cassandra found herself tied up in wedding plans, welcoming Varric friends into the castle, and dealing her usual problems. Ellana attempted to take control as best she could, and was, as usual, good at reading Cassandra's thoughts and intentions and making them a reality. The first of the Inquisition to arrive were the Inquisitor himself and Dorian.

"Oh, well _this_ is fantastic," Maxwell said, sitting on the bed in their guest sweet. "Dorian, _look._ Flowers."

Cassandra folded her arms over her chest and smiled. "It is good to have you here, Lord Trevelyan."

" _Lord_ Trevelyan," Dorian said. "I think I'm going to call you that."

"Don't you _dare--_ "

"And look who's here." Varric appeared beside Cassandra, putting an arm around her waist. "You didn't see them up here personally, did you?"

"Of course I did."

"They aren't _that_ special," Varric said with a chuckle, and went into the room. 

Cassandra smiled. "I will leave you alone, then." She reached for the door handles, shutting the three of them in. She was about to leave, though, when she heard Dorian say, a bit shrilly, "You're going to _marry_ her?"

"Is that so strange?" Maxwell asked. "Wait, yes. It is."

"I take it the two of you have discussed this at length?"

"Certainly," Dorian said. "Gossiping is just another manner of foreplay. Is it true she's with child?" 

"Yes."

"Maker, it's worse than we imagined."

Maxwell sighed. "You're certain you want to be a _king_ , Varric?"

"I won't be a king, actually."

"No, he'll be some kind of prince, or something," Dorian said. "Which is even worse, if you think about it."

"Is this...is this how you both feel?"

"It's how everyone feels," Maxwell said quietly. "We...don't think it's a good idea."

"You don't."

"Well, _no._ " Dorian huffed. "I mean, wouldn't you rather be who you _are?_ Keep the things you _have--_ "

"Cassandra is making an incredible sacrifice," Varric said.

"Oh, yes, marrying a handsome dwarf and having his beautiful, impossible, half-dwarf _child_. Sounds very difficult."

"If this is how everyone feels, then maybe they should just keep it to themselves," Varric snapped. "Everyone seems to know exactly what I want, but no one seems too inclined to ask _me_ if I'm happy about it." 

Cassandra flinched, and decided she didn't need to hear anymore. She rushed away from the door, steeling herself against Dorian and Trevelyan's words. 

She found herself wondering, once more, if she had made the right decision. If she was truly the queen she had always wanted to be. In a few days she would stand before her family and the Inquisition, and marry Varric. She would marry him and birth their child, and the cycle would start anew. 

There was no escape from it, she realized. There was no stopping it. Not unless...

Was it a possibility? Could she defy tradition? Could she reject history and generations of habit?

Cassandra smiled to herself. Of course she could. Hadn't she been doing that all along? Every decision she'd made had been different than her predecessor's. She was certainly not going to submit to the old ways just because. 

And she had never been an ordinary queen. She saw no reason to start _now._


	5. musical thrones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this is okay. it's over! sort of. this part. expect more in this universe. 
> 
> i stole this idea from princess diaries 2.

_It's not hard for us to say what we should not_   
_If just for tonight darling, let's get lost_

* * *

Over the next few days, more of the Inquisition arrived at the castle. Cassandra welcomed them as often as she could, but typically Ellana and Anthony stood at the gates, and the servants showed them to their rooms. She tried to meet with them, welcome them on her own time, until, eventually, they had all arrived. Cassandra found herself spending an afternoon with Vivienne, at one point, meeting her between appointments in the garden by accident.

"Your majesty. You keep a lovely home."

"I have done little to it. The wife of the king before me had excellent taste."

"May she be blessed." Vivienne smiled and brushed a hand over a rose. "These flowers...they grow so vibrantly."

"Nevarra is known for roses," Cassandra said, admiring the blooms. "It was good of you to come, Lady Vivienne."

"But of course. Master Tethras is a trusted friend. I am happy to see that _he_ is happy." She glanced at Cassandra. "Are the rumors true, then?"

"About my child?"

"I do not mean to pry--"

"You do, though." Cassandra stopped and looked at her. "I do not mind."

Vivienne bowed her head. "Forgive me, your majesty--"

"There is nothing to forgive. You are curious. You need only ask. I am with child, yes."

"You seem happy."

Cassandra smiled. "I am. I truly am."

 

 

 

Cullen and Josephine were the last to arrive, the day before the wedding. Josephine was mortified that they were so late, and apparently blamed the Commander for their delay. Ellana said it had been an amusing reunion.

"She wanted to personally apologize, but I told her you were resting, and would be available after the ceremony tomorrow."

Cassandra laughed. "But of course." 

Ellana leaned against a bedpost. "Are you certain you wouldn't like to wear your mother's dress tomorrow? It would look lovely on you."

"It would not fit."

"Yes it _would_ , but you are allowed to invent excuses, I suppose." She sighed. "Will you be happy to have this behind you?"

"You say that as if I should dread it. A wedding is a happy occasion."

"I don't know. You've been...distracted, as of late."

"I am only lost in thought."

"Good ones, I hope?"

"Yes." 

A knock at the door interrupted them, and Varric came into the room. "Sorry to intrude, but I wondered if I could speak with the blushing bride for a moment?"

Ellana laughed. " _You_ are supposed to be in your quarters, Master Tethras. It is tradition."

"Is that what we're adhering to now? Someone should have told me a year ago."

Cassandra waved him in. "It's fine, Ellana. Excuse us?"

"Of course, my lady." She bowed and closed the doors behind her.

Cassandra turned to Varric. "She is not wrong, you know."

"Yes, I know what a _stickler_ you are for those sorts of things." He pulled her in and kissed her. "I didn't want to go to bed without...seeing you."

"Is that what we call it now?"

"No one has to get naked."

"Of course not." She sat at her vanity to begin unpinning her hair, but he stopped her. "Varric--"

"Let me," he said quietly. Cassandra nodded and put her hands in her lap, watching him undo her braid, setting the pins on the table. He was gentle, careful, and when he was done he came to stand beside her, looking at the two of them in the mirror. "We're a pair, aren't we?"

"Defying tradition from the very start," she murmured, turning toward him. "Have I told you how much I adore you?"

"You haven't," he said, and slowly knelt down in front of her. "But I could do with hearing it again." He laid his ear against her stomach, listening to the other world where their child grew. "I don't regret anything," he said. "I will never regret anything."

Cassandra stroked her fingers through his hair, tracing her ear with her thumb. "I am glad to hear that, my love."

"Is it wrong to stay here with you?"

"No." 

"Then I want to. I want to stay with you, no matter what. No matter what's happening." He stood, looking down at her and drawing her close. Cassandra rested her cheek against his chest, closing her eyes. "Also Hawke snores and she doesn't know I left."

"You've been staying with Hawke?"

"She has trouble sleeping alone, right until she falls asleep and turns into a _monster._ " Cassandra laughed. "I'm serious!"

"You may sleep here," she said. 

Varric smiled. "Good. That's good."

 

 

 

If it was true that everyone in the Inquisition thought their marriage was a dreadful idea, no one seemed to show it, though Cullen looked a little green. He knelt and kissed Cassandra's hand, asking forgiveness for their earlier tardiness.

"I have been told to tell you that it is entirely my fault," he said. Josephine rolled her eyes. "It _wasn't_ ," he added. "But I will take the blame."

"The things we do for love," Cassandra said, and Cullen blushed fiercely.

"You look exquisite," Josephine said. Cassandra smiled -- she had refused, outright, to wear her mother's dress or anyone else's. She wore her nicest armor, her best boots, and her sword at her side. She would attend this ceremony as her truest self, and wear no one's expectations but her own.

When the guests had been greeted, Cassandra retreated into a small room off the side of the chantry, and closed her eyes to pray.

"There's my sister," Anthony said quietly, putting his hand on her shoulder. Cassandra turned and found herself wrapped in his embrace, so warm and familiar. "Look at you. You're beautiful."

"You are pleased?"

"Of course." He took her face in his hands. "I am immeasurably proud of you, sister. No matter what choices you have made until now, I know they have been guided by your infallible will." He smiled. "Do you remember when we were young? We would pretend to fight dragons in the garden behind the house."

"Mother gave us the swords. We had to hide them before Father came home."

"She told you that you would be a magnificent queen someday."

"I wonder how she knew?"

Anthony laughed. "My dear, how could anyone have expected any less from you?"

"I suppose." Outside, she heard the cleric begin to speak. "Go," she said. "I will follow."

"I should certainly hope so." He pressed one last kiss to her forehead, and disappeared.

Cassandra stood only in the room, closing her eyes once more. 

_You are a Pentaghast. You are descended from dragon hunters. You are Queen of Nevarra. You are a Seeker of Truth. You are sure and certain in your path. You will do the right thing._

 

 

 

Varric looked very handsome. It was something Cassandra would remember, even after what happened. And he smiled, and it was rich and genuine. 

She would remember that everyone else in attendance looked a little ill, and that Ellana was wearing a dress Cassandra had never seen before. She would always remember how handsome her brother was, sitting there, holding his lover's hand.

She would remember seeing her reflection in the Chantry window, the glint of candlelight and sun streaming in shining on her armor. She would remember that she found herself beautiful, in that moment, and realized that the thought hadn't occurred to her since she was a teenager. 

The cleric's voice was drowned out by her own thoughts, which ran in every direction. She had everything planned, down to the moment the wedding was over. 

And then doubt washed over her. 

And the cleric's words rushed into her mind, and she heard them so clearly. They were so final. She would be wed here, under these circumstances, and what would happen to her then? 

What would happen to Varric?

What would happen to their child?

What could be done?

" _Stop._ " The words came out of her mouth before she could think twice about it. The cleric looked confused, and so did Varric. "Please," she said. "No more."

"Your majesty--"

"I am terribly sorry," she said, then paused. "Actually, I am not. I am sorry for nothing, and I don't think I ever will be again." She looked at Varric. "My love, I think you have been lying to me."

" _Cassandra--_ "

"And," she said, "I have been lying to us both." She turned to the cleric. "I will not be getting married today. Not like this." 

Varric reached for her hand. "What are you doing?"

"I am releasing us both." 

"You don't...want to marry me."

"On the contrary. I would very much like to marry you. I would simply rather not do it here, under these circumstances." She smiled. Varric grinned. 

Somewhere behind them, she heard Cullen say, rather loudly, "Oh thank the _Maker_ ," followed by a groan as he was elbowed into silence by Josephine. 

The cleric cleared his throat. "Should I...continue then?"

"No." Cassandra turned to her guests and looked at her brother. "But we are not quite finished. First and foremost, I believe this would be an excellent time to announce that I will be stepping down as queen." 

From the front row Vivienne murmured, "Oh _my_ ," and Cassandra smiled.

"And as such, I will be required to name my successor." She stepped away from the cleric and closer to the pews, stopping in front of Anthony. "My dear brother."

"Maker take you, Cassandra."

"I name you as my successor."

"Of course you do."

"You will accept, won't you?"

He stood. "Once again, sister, you act without thinking."

"It has been good for me," she said, taking his hands in her own. "It has brought me the greatest joys."

Anthony sighed, closing his eyes. "Yes," he said. "It would be my honor to accept, your majesty."

"Good." She turned back to Varric. "And considering that we have an audience, it certainly _would_ be a waste if no one was married today, don't you agree?"

Varric shrugged. "It'd be a tragedy."

Beside him, Hawke grinned like a maniac.

"Indeed." Cassandra turned back to her brother. "I do not think you would last a single day without a queen by your side," she said.

"Your confidence is stirring," he murmured, and turned to look at Ellana. She sat, completely rigid, staring right at him. Anthony knelt in front of her, reaching for her hands. "If I am to be king, I would be bereft without you, my love."

"Yes," Ellana said quietly. "You certainly would." She stood with him, looking at Cassandra. "You are certain, my lady?"

"Quite." 

Ellana took a deep breath. "Alright." 

The cleric looked between them. "Are we...continuing?"

"We are now," Cassandra said, and took Varric's hand, leading him to the pew. They sat together and watched as Anthony and Ellana stepped forward, repeating their vows. The cleric continued, and very quickly, Cassandra was removed as queen. 

She had never felt a greater joy than this.

 

 

 

The celebration after lasted well into the night. The Inquisitor and Dorian led everyone in hours of dance, while Cassandra and Varric sat at the table with the newly crowned king and queen of Nevarra, who seemed to see no one but each other.

"I think I know how they feel," Varric said quietly. 

"Do you now?"

"Mmhm." He took her hand and kissed her palm. "Where to next, Seeker Pentaghast?"

"Wherever you'd like. There is still a child between us."

"Oh don't worry, I didn't forget." Varric grinned. "I was thinking we could travel. Maybe fight some bandits, kill a few dragons."

"I will not make love to you right _here_ ," Cassandra said. "If that is what you are trying to talk me into."

"Why _Seeker._ Does the idea of _dragon hunting_ \--"

"Stop."

Varric laughed, pulling her close and kissing her right there, open mouthed and full, in front of everyone. Cassandra could not remember being as in love as she was right then. " _Never,_ " he said, and kissed her again.

**Author's Note:**

> All lyrics from the top are from "Let's Get Lost" by Beck, featuring Bats for Lashes IT'S A GREAT SONG


End file.
